Feeling Overwhelmed by Loss?

Don’t worry … you’re not alone.

It’s normal to get lost in grief. To find yourself stuck in:

• Sorrow
• Regret
• Guilt
• Shame
• Isolation
• Anger
• Rage
• Bitterness
• Numbness
• Despair
• Dread
• Depression

If you’re feeling any one or combination of these things, you’re not alone.

In our culture (and in many cultures around the world), there’s little support in grief. Although family and friends might send condolence cards or flowers and show up for the funeral or make you meals for the first week, afterward, you may find yourself increasingly alone, feeling numb, depressed or overwhelmed. That’s the shock of loss: it feels like your whole world has stopped, while for everyone else, life has continued. 

And even if you live with family members who have suffered the same loss, you might still feel isolated in grief. This is because rather than sharing pain, we are taught to hide it, push it down or pretend like it doesn’t hurt. You might all live in the same household, but you’ve become individual islands of pain.

The words of comfort offered to you in grief might ring hollow. Perhaps you’ve been the recipient of some of the many shallow euphemisms designed to “bright side” you in grief: 

• Your son is in the arms of Jesus now. (As if that cancels your loss.)
• You should be happy: Your dad is in Heaven. (Telling you how you “should” feel rather than acknowledging how you do feel.)
• Don’t cry. Your (insert loved one’s name) wouldn’t want you to be sad. (Using your loved one to guilt you from your sorrow, which is a natural expression of love for the person that you lost.)

Such words offer little solace. In fact, they can isolate you even more. The hidden messages behind these words: it’s not okay to grieve, it’s not okay to feel. I can’t tolerate your sadness. I can’t stand your pain. I can only be in your company if you pretend to be okay.

And the reason that people say these things is because they are afraid of death and terrifed of loss. They don’t know what to say or do, so they resort to reciting scripture or repeating worn out phrases that they’ve heard before, rather than speaking directly from their heart to yours.

Some of the most crushing dismissals can be at the hands of those who you thought would have your back, like family members or close friends. These abandonments and betrayals compound your loss. You discover quickly who’s here for you and who’s not.

Add to this the not-so-subtle pressure to “get over it” to “be strong” and to “move on with your life”. The belief that grief is only acceptable for a specific time window, that at some point, it becomes pathological is a widespread belief, even among professionals.

The depth of pain in grief coupled with the lack of support and pressure to “move on” is just too much. Some grievers shut down and may spend the rest of their lives feeling numb, flat, depressed or anxious.

In fact one of the things that I hear most often from clients when I first start working with them is that they want to go back to who they were before the loss, not just for themselves but also for their loved ones.

And just like it’s not possible to get back your loved one in the physical form in which you knew and loved them, it’s not possible to go back to who you were before their death. Why? Because loss has changed you.

Although this might not be what you wanted to hear, please trust me when I say that there is hope.

What I’ve learned in my journey through grief and in the work that I do with clients is that loss can be a portal to healing, connection, love and authenticity.

If you choose to work with me, this means that you can emerge from grief with:

• Renewed sense of aliveness and energy
• Regained trust in life
• Deeper trust in self
• A compassionate heart
• Inner calm, resilience fluidity
• Acceptance and clarity around the loss
• Restored sense of purpose

There’s so much more that is possible. It just on depends how deep you are ready to go.

Your Bespoke Journey Through Grief.

What is it and how does it work?

As a Grief and Intimacy Coach, I use a holistic approach that facilitates healing and transformation. More effective than talk therapy alone, this process includes a variety of modalities from diverse sources that I have studied deeply, ranging from ancient wisdom practices to modern day understandings of neuroplasticity, the art and science of embodiment and post-traumatic growth. These tools help create changes at the primal (unconscious) and limbic (emotional) and cortical (mental) levels and integrate these changes into the body/being progressively and permanently by creating deeper embodiment and new neural pathways in the brain.  

During our time together, you’ll feel supported and held as you learn to express your feelings in the compassionate presence of someone who understands grief like the back of her hand. I’ve done more than earn a couple of grief certifications, I have walked all the way through grief and emerged out the other side. This journey taught me more about what it takes to move through grief than any certification course. You’ll learn how to reconnect with yourself on every level, trust your instincts,  tap into your inner wisdom, release subconsious tension patterns, access your heart, gain clarity and learn incredible, science-backed tools that will not only help you recover yourself through loss, but revitalize your sense of aliveness, deepen your embodiment and connection to life itself. 

This process begins with me meeting you exactly where you are. All aspects of you are welcome. All your feelings are welcome, especially those that you might not want to look at: regret, remorse, rage, bitterness, apathy, sorrow, survivor’s guilt and shame. In addition to using modalities that turn down the intensity of such feelings to make them more ‘feelable’, you get to ‘piggyback’ on my nervous system and capacity to feel the more challenging aspects of grief. As you share the story of  the loss of your loved one and how you truly feel, you’ll begin to claim the truth of your experience and reclaim yourself. I work gently and slowly with any activation or wounding that comes up as I help you to build the capacity to feel the things, come to clarity and integrate the loss. It’s important to understand that this is not a formulaic process or a series of preset steps, but a bespoke journey that is unique to you. I walk with you through the quagmire of feelings to the other side where joy, aliveness, love, connection and possibility reside. (I can take you as deep and far as you’re willing to go and for those devoted and intrepid souls out there, I can take you all the way through to the gold on the other side.) 

One-on-one sessions take place virtually, so you can relax and integrate what comes up for you in the safety, privacy and familiarity of home.

Experience what it feels like to be in the loving presence of a coach who:

• Holds and supports you in your grief.
• Helps you to relax more deeply to restore your nervous system.
• Shows you how to navigate shame, guilt, remorse, bitterness, anger and sorrow.
• Teaches you techniques that open your heart and create shifts in consciousness that increase trust in life and build presence, connection, resiliency and creativity. 
• Helps you grow through the loss. 
• Invites you into feeling fully alive again, empowered and grounded in your authentic self as you move through grief.

Although other coaches or therapists might have certifications in grief, I have personal experience. Three years ago, I lost my husband of over thirty years and my beloved youngest son, half of my little four-person family, just six short months apart. The loss of my husband was one thing; the loss of my child was devastating on every level. I have walked all the way through shattering loss to the other side and know the terrain of grief like the back of my hand. I know the pitfalls; I know how easy and natural it is to get stuck or lost. Additionally, I have suffered many other losses, eleven in all: including death of a parent by suicide, an uncle by suicide, sudden death, death caused by refusal of medical treatment and the complexity of the”death” of a “living but ambiguous” mother. I hold a Grief Certification from David Kessler’s Grief.com and am the author of the soon-to-be-published book: 49 Tributes to My Beloved Son: A Mother’s Journey Through Grief to Love & Communion.

Life is Too Precious to Stay Stuck in Grief. Let Me Be Your Guide. 

All you need to do to take the first step is to book your FREE, no pressure call below:  

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